Meeting Aidan

So, I'm going to be honest for a moment and tell you that I've kind of been putting off this blog entry. I've been putting it off, because I don't think that there are any adequate words to explain the moment when we first laid eyes on our son. But I'll try...

Liam and I arrived at the Durame Care Center along with another couple who also had a baby, a 5-month-old girl, waiting for them at the same orphanage. If you like to read more about Brian and Heather, you can access their blog here.

Liam and I standing outside Durame Care Center

I have to tell you, I was a basket case of nerves. I was practically jumping out of my skin with excitement, but I was also more than a little anxious about how he would receive us. I was so nervous that he wouldn't like us. I was expecting tears and even a complete meltdown, afterall we're complete strangers to him. He doesn't know that we've been staring at his picture for the last 5 months dreaming of the moment when we would finally be able to hold him, or that we've spent countless hours decorating his nursery in anticipation of his arrival home, or that I've written every minor detail about his adoption in his baby book in preparation for the questions he may have as he grows. He has no idea how much we have longed for him, and prayed for him, and loved him for the very start. So, as much as I didn't want it to be, I was trying to keep my expectations in check for the very real possibility that he would not be as happy about our first meeting as we were.

When we first entered the main room (right on the other side of the doors in the above picture) we were ushered to take a seat in one of the 3 or 4 chairs provided. I didn't even see until I was close to sitting down, that there were two babies lying in the middle of the floor. I didn't know if we were expected to approach them or if the nurses would gather them for us. I didn't really even now if they were ours- silly, right? Why else would they be there?

As all four of us gathered around them and began to study their cute little faces, the unmistakable features of the face that I have studied for the past 5 months jumped out at me and I started crying and laughing all at once. One of the nurses behind us asked if we knew which one was our son, and through my tears, I nodded and pointed to Aidan. She congratulated me on knowing which was ours (as if there was any doubt).

It wasn't until a later conversation with Heather when she told me that she had been happy that I picked out Aidan first. I didn't even realize that he was wearing pink (AGAIN) and therefore was hard to determine his gender.

When the nurse put him in my arms, we locked eyes and he did what I had been praying he would. He smiled and laughed, and all of my anxiety fell away. He was our son, and we were his parents. If I doubted for an instant the bond between an adopted child and parent, it was gone in that instant. In that one second, I loved him more than I ever dreamed possible, and that my love for him was as unconditional as any parent's for their child. Liam will not want me to divulge his reaction (because anytime that I mention tears and Liam's name together, he orders me to delete it from my post...given the numerous times that I have mentioned this, you can see how successful his demands have been :) ), but there were definitely tears flowing from both of us.

I touched his tiny curls and marveled at their softness. And, oh, that sweet baby smell. Is there anything better? Especially when the baby is your's?

I handed him to Liam (for about 20 seconds, sorry honey) and marveled at the first sight of my husband holding OUR child...something that I have prayed to see since before our long, and difficult nearly 5 year battle with infertility, a battle that I thought may actually rob me of ever seeing my spouse cradle our child in his arms. Words can never express the joy that that one moment brought.

We posed for some pictures, but I quickly grew frustrated with this. I didn't want to waste any of the precious time that we were given. Liam did take out the video camera and I settled myself on the floor and faced Aidan towards me, so that I could study his little face. He's amazing and breathtaking and gorgeous. In some respects, he looks like the pictures that we have received of him, but they're only a pale version of his actual beauty. I kissed his sweet little lips and he just stared at me, as if to say who is this crazy woman who thinks that she knows me. He smiled again. Let me tell you, that smile will melt you heart!

As I was showing one of the nurses the family photo album that I made for him, he settled in close to me and yawned great big. Someone handed me a bottle and I got to feed my son for the first time. In a moment or two, he was asleep. I looked down at this sleeping child in my arms and knew that I would never experience a moment greater than that one. Aidan was finally in my arms!

You may be wondering what my lovely husband was doing during this time. Liam was the epitamy of a dutiful hubby. He managed to operate four different cameras (digital, cell phone, camcorder and polaroid for pics to give his birth mom) and took tons of great pictures. He never complained once. The man has the patience of Job!

The nurses took us on a tour around the care center to see the rooms and the other babies. Each baby was cuter than the last (with Aidan, of course, being the cutest). We were amazed that none of the babies were crying. They just stared at us with curiousity. A few of the friendlier ones, smiled as we approached. It was a sealed deal between Liam and I that Aidan would definitely NOT be our last adoption from this beautiful country.

The one thing that surprised me the most about Aidan was how big his is! The last update that we received was in December and we weighed a little less than 12 pounds. That is not who greeted us on our trip. Aidan's latest update (done in February) states his weight as being close to 17 pounds. My arms grew tired from holding our sleeping little boy, and I passed him off to Liam. This time for about 2 minutes.

All too soon, our time with Aidan was up. I managed to shift him upright in my arms, waking him up. We kissed him and told him that we would be back soon. I spent the next couple of minutes studying his face, all too aware that these precious memories would have to satisfy me for the next two or three months while we wait for the embassy clearance. We love you sweet Aidan. Mommy and Daddy are coming back for you soon and we're going to bring you HOME!

*I do have to say, as awful as it feels to leave my child behind, he is receiving the most wonderful care. I can tell that the nurses all love him and the other children in their care. It must be as heartbreaking for them, loving him and caring for him, just to watch him leave and go SO far away. I want him home NOW, but it puts this mommy's mind and heart at ease to know that he is cherished as all children should be. :)

One of our first photographs as a family of three. Sorry that we can't show you his face, but Ethiopian adoption laws are pretty specific in this area. Believe me, once we have the clearance, we'll be posting his gorgeous picture for all to see. :)

Durame Care Center

The main room where we first met our son

Aidan's bed

Coffee ceremony

Mulu, Liam and I

Sister Meselech (the head nurse at Durame Care Center) and some of the other nurses that are taking care of Aidan until he can come home to us.

Our first trip to Ethiopia (day 2)...

As I mentioned previously, Liam and I got very little sleep the first night (maybe 3 hours). Part of it was getting used to a new bed, which is quite a bit harder than what we're used to in America, but mainly due to the excitement that we felt at meeting Aidan for the first time.

I had tried to get on the computer when I first arrived at the guesthouse, but it wasn't working. This, as I quickly became aware of, is quite common in Ethiopia. The internet only works about half the time and only for a few moments each time.

Around 3:45 in the morning, Liam and I made our way to the lounge/family area, which is on the second floor (see previous post for photograph), to once again see if we might be able to get the computer to work so that we could notify family that we had made it to Ethiopia safely. This time it worked! We sent out a couple of quick messages on Facebook and then returned to our room to get ready for the early departure to Durame.

At 6:30 we joined both of the families that we met at the airport the night before in the dining room for breakfast. Margaret's husband is serving in Afghanistan, so her mother-in-law accompanied her on this trip. After breakfast, we collected our bags since we knew that we would not be returning to Jemimah House that night and waited for the representative from Holt to arrive.

Mulu (I know I'm not anywhere near to spelling this correctly), one of the social workers, arrived with Tsegaw (0ur driver). We all boarded the van and made our way out of Addis towards Durame. In all, the trip took about 7 hours. Below are a few pictures of the city as we left:

Can you see the excitement pouring out of us?

The next picture is a pretty common sight in Addis. Most of the city is under construction and the scaffolding is just a series of sticks criss-crossing each other. There is no way that I would ever get up there, but it seems to work pretty well for them. The little car in front is a three-wheeled taxi. They're all over.

There are several mosques throughout the cities, as well as in the countryside. Ethiopia is about 40% Muslim and 60% Christian.

So, once we left the city, the landscape changed drastically. Gone were the big buildings and traffic congestion. The scenery that followed was beautiful with rolling hills, tall trees and small thatch houses (huts). The most interesting thing were the people. Since it was a Sunday and most people were out and about enjoying the beautiful 70 degree weather, thousands of them lined the sides of the road. Some were walking towards their family's homes, many others were going to church or mosque. Our van weaved in and out of the throngs of people and animals (mostly donkeys, cows and goats, but we saw some camels too) that accompanied them. As one adoptive father said, "the road was built for the people's use, and not the cars."

This is a pretty common sight. Ethiopians use donkeys to carry water (the yellow containers). Most people walk SEVERAL miles to the nearest water source and then back again to their homes.

A typical thatch house. A whole family will live in one hut (sometimes as many as 10 or 11 people). When a boy grows up and marries, the community often builds him a hut next to his family's so that he can help work the land.

Isn't this picture amazing? It's as if God is shining through the clouds, blessing our journey to Aidan.

Any time that our van slowed down, a group of children (usually boys) would congregate around us. Some asked for a treat or our empty water bottles (I think it must be a prestigious thing to have your own water bottle), but most just wanted to touch our hands or have us wave to them. Their smiles were endearing. One little boy in particular I'll never forget. We were coming around a bend and had slowed down enough so that he could really look at me. When the realization hit that I was white, he started to shout and jump up and down, running after our van. I laughed hysterically.

We stopped twice for a rest and coffee break. Ethiopia is the birthplace of coffee and even though I'm not a coffee drinker, I have to admit it smelled amazing. Liam, whose not a coffee drinker either, loved it.

On our second stop of the trip, Liam took this picture of the surrounding area. Little did we know at the time that this photo is taken very close to the village where Aidan is from.

As we neared Durame, we pulled off to the side of the road, to allow the other couples to switch vehicles so that they could travel onto Wolyta (another region in southern Ethiopia) where their children are at. Mulu, Tsegaw, Liam and I continued onto Durame. From this point the road went from being paved to dirt and was VERY bumpy. We drove for about another 30-45 minutes.

Mulu was amazing the entire trip at answering any questions that we had and pointing out various crops that are prevalent in Ethiopia. We discussed Holt's involvment in Ethiopia and how they are working tirelessly at helping to preserve birth families and providing programs for mothers and their children, as well as education for school aged children. He pointed out several towns that Holt is working in. All of this new information just helped to solidify our reasons for adopting with Holt. Adoption is vital for helping the nearly 5 million orphans throughout Ethiopia, but it's a last resort. When possible, birth families should be kept together and the children of Ethiopia should remain in Ethiopia. Holt is working to ensure that this happens.

We stopped around 12:45pm for lunch at a hotel near Durame. The Buckley's (another family adopting with Holt) were already there. Since it was their second trip to Ethiopia (they adopted their son two years ago), they had spent the week previously traveling around the southern region. Heather is such a sweet person. Her experience with adoption and Ethiopia was invaluable. When I left to use the bathroom at the hotel, she quietly asked me if I had brought any tissue and when I replied "no", she lent me hers. Like Korea, where we lived for two years, Ethiopians bring their own toilet paper to the bathrooms. So, unless you are in a hotel that caters mainly to westerners, plan on bringing lots of tissue.

I tried my first bit of Ethiopian food, shiro and tibs with injera. Shiro is a spicy bean sauce, while tibs is cut-up meat. Injera is the main staple in Ethiopia, a sour sort of large pancake.

When we were finished, we loaded into two seperate vans and traveled the short distance to the orphanage where we would meet Aidan.

(Photo borrowed from another blog)

I need a whole blog entry to describe the moment that we first met our son, so not to let the suspense build, but...

To Be Continued...

Our first trip to Ethiopia (day 1)...

I was so busy in the last couple of days before we left for Ethiopia that I didn't get a chance to update our blog or even say a quick good-bye to all of our friends that follow us through reading about our story.

Friday, March 4th, we woke up early to finish some last minute cleaning and packing. From there Jason, my brother-in-law, arrived with my nephew, Jake, to drive us to the airport to board the plane that would take us halfway across the world to our little boy. Nicki and the girls followed later so that they could send us off too. These first pictures are of us at the airport with all of our luggage. We packed all of our items in carry-on bags, so the huge trunk and big suitcase are full of donations for the orphanage. Love Jake peeking out from behind the trunk :).

Now, the bad news and really a lesson for all of those traveling with large suitcases. When we arrived at the check-in counter the airline employee set our large trunk on the scale and told us that we were over the weight limit (we already knew this) and that the trunk was also over the size limit. Since Liam is a member of the military, we were allowed to fly with five checked bags, which we did not know with three of the five weighing no more than 70 pounds. Because we did not call before, we thought that we were only allowed one checked item each. Anyway, the overweight charge was $200, which we did not know (thought it would be around $50) and the over sized charge was an additional $200! So, do you see the moral of the story yet? If you're not 100% sure, check. Thankfully, we had brought an extra suitcase and bag and quickly moved some items from the big trunk into the smaller items. Unfortunately, however, we weren't able to fit everything, so we'll have to bring the other donations on our second trip. Oops!

Once we maneuvered past all of that headache and had our bags successfully checked, we said good-bye to Jason, Nichole and the kids and boarded the airplane that would take us first to Chicago, then Germany, and the to Ethiopia and the sweetest little boy imaginable.

I've discovered something new about myself. As I get older, my nerves have become more and more frazzled. Normally, airplanes don't bother me, but the last few years I've developed a little fear of flying. I'm fine once we're in the air, but the taking-off and landing leave me a bit white-knuckled and nauseous. So, there I was sitting in my seat, one hand grasping the arm of my chair, the other cutting off the circulation in Liam's hand, praying every prayer that I knew that God would lead us safely there and home again.

We arrived in Chicago around 5pm (their time) without any incidence. We had a bit of a layover, so we ate some supper and called family to let them know that we had completed the first leg of our trip. The flight to Germany was the longest, nearly 8 hours, but luckily I managed to sleep about half of it. I also watched the first of 6 movies on our trip, The King's Speech, which I highly recommend. We only had about two hours in Germany, so we zoomed around and went through another security check. Liam wanted to eat a weiner snitzle (?) so badly, but we didn't know if they sold it at the airport, so he settled for a chicken curry sandwich. Then we went through yet another security clearance, discovered that we would have to check our two carry-on suitcases, and waited about half an hour to board the airplane. While we were in the security check line, we met a Canadian couple that were also adopting a child from Ethiopia. Like us, they were also flying for their court date on March 8th. We spoke for a bit and then boarded the plane to Addis Ababa. The flight this time was 6 hours, of which I slept one, and watched The Switch and Burlesque.

We arrived in Addis around 9pm (their time) on Saturday, March 5th. We went through customs rather quickly and since we already had our visas, we were able to skip this part. The couple behind us in line, the Anderson's, were also adopting with Holt, so we met the first couple that would be sharing this incredible journey with us.

As we left the main part of the airport, we were met immediately by a driver from the Jemimah Guesthouse. We waited for the Anderson's (who, unfortunately, the airline had lost one of their bags and they were trying to sort it out) and another woman, Margaret, and her mother-in-law, Pat. Once all of our party arrived, the driver drove us to the guesthouse and we checked in and learned that we would be driving to Durame the next day (not the day after as we had been told previously) to see our son! This was such welcome news. I don't know if it was just the jet lag or the excitement of the moment, but I slept about 2 hours that night. To be continued...

Below are a few pictures of the Jemimah Guesthouse, the family room on the second floor (with the computers), the main lobby and our room: