HaPpY BiRtHdAy, AiDaN!!!!I'm having a really hard time lately. I miss my little guy SO much! I knew that coming home without him would be difficult, but I thought that knowing that we're one step closer to bringing him home would help soften the blow. I feel like a huge hole has been torn from my chest. My little boy is on the other side of the world and there's nothing that I can do about it. I'm not there to cuddle with him, or sing him lullabies. I can't even comfort him when he's crying. Worst yet, is the uncertainty of this new change with the embassy. At least before I had the hope of returning to Ethiopia in a month. Now, I have nothing. We're in limbo. STUCK! I'm frustrated and heartbroken and stressed all at the same time. My baby is so far away and I don't know when we're going to bring him home. I'm trying desperately to cling to God during this time, but I'll be honest, it's hard. How can God who loves us so much, keep our son from us?
I had such hopes for bringing him home by Mother's Day and now that looks more and more like it's not going to happen. We lost our first baby on April 14th, 2009 and our third April 16th of the following year. Our second, we lost on May 6th of 2009. Needless to say, this time of year is REALLY difficult. I wanted to finally have some good memories to fill the deep gash that the pain of the past has caused. Instead, it looks like I'll be spending another Mother's Day without my child. Please, oh please, God bring our son home to us.