Trusting God while I wait (day 4) and one month update...

So, as I was saying, I'm not feeling the most optimistic lately. In fact, I feel pretty defeated at times.

There is now a very good probability that the US Government will shut down, which means that when we get submitted to embassy, nothing will happen. Should the proposed shut down occur, they will not be processing adoption visas. This means that anyone in Ethiopia during this time for their embassy date will not be able to bring their child home and will therefore be stranded there until the government shut down is over. It also means that anyone who has been given an embassy date and has not traveled, will more than likely be asked not to travel until after this craziness is over. And for us? Our paperwork will sit at an empty desk, since no one will be there to review and approve it. This will affect countless families and children.

This past month has been the most difficult yet. It's been one month since we passed court. I remember one month ago, I felt such excitement and euphoria at the news that we had passed and Aidan was legally our child. Since then, we have endured a seige of rumors and speculations, followed by bad news and delays. It's exhausting!

When we first came home, we were bombarded about reports that MOWCYA (Ministry of Women, Children and Youth Affairs) was going through some major changes and that they were proposing to reduce their case load to 5 a day. Since they currently process 50+ cases daily now, this would mean a reduction of 90%. We had been told that we could expect to travel back to Ethiopia in 2 months to bring Aidan home, but with this latest news, we (and others) were speculating that it might be a year before we would travel. Our adoption agency and countless others sent emails warning of this possibility, but cautioning everyone to stay positive. Well, so far, the proposed reduction has not taken place, though there are still rumors circulating that once MOWCYA clears its case load of around 800, they will begin processing only 5 cases a day.

Don't get me wrong, I'm very supportive of added scrutiny to ensure that a more transparent, ethical process for international adoptions takes place in Ethiopia. I'm just frustrated that it would mean our children may have to spend an extra year in an orphanage. I fully believe that Aidan is receiving the best care possible and am eternally grateful to the wonderful nannies that care for him and love him, but it's not a home.

Our heads were still reeling with the news of the changes with MOWCYA when we got the news that specific cases (Aidan's included) would not be submitted to embassy until the Ethiopian government and our agency could come to a compromise with the U.S embassy over new paperwork that the embassy is requiring. This was a HUGE blow! I know that everyone at Holt is working around the clock to come to a quick agreement, but its still beyond frustrating. We were in hopes that we would be over there in a month...now we have no clue when we might travel.

Now, there's the government shut down.

I know that all of this is the devil trying to discourage and defeat us. My eyes are focused on God. He is the source of my hope and strength. I'm worried, but I'm not without faith. God, who has seen us through countless trials, will see us through this.

I had a dream last night about Aidan. We were home with him and the love that I felt for my baby was so immense. I hold to that feeling of complete joy. I KNOW that Aidan will be home with us someday. I pray that it's soon, but if not, I will continue to praise the name of God who brought him to us in the first place. It is because of Our Heavenly Father's steadfast love, that we are parents. I trust him to bring our little prince home safely. The most powerful governments on earth are no match for the awesome majesty of our Lord.

But if we look forward to something we don't have yet, we must wait patiently and confidently.
Romans 8:25